Flippin’ell

My appetites are pretty drastic,
I love to get sultry and hot,
Snapping my knicker elastic,

Saying yes to the fantastic
Idea of taking the lot.
My appetites are pretty drastic,

Quite verging on the orgiastic,
Which is a masculine plot,
Snapping my knicker elastic.

And sometimes by dressing in plastic
I almost succeed to garrotte.
My appetites are pretty drastic.

Without appearing bombastic
I like to think of a Trot
Snapping my knicker elastic

Before becoming gymnastic
And stuttering out his argot.
My appetites are pretty drastic.

I'm never unenthusiastic
And I've never been something I'm not,
Snapping my knicker elastic.

But before I become quite monastic
I'd love to ravage a Scot.
My appetites are pretty drastic
Snapping my knicker elastic!